Evolution Directed Therapy
So much of our time is spent dealing with whatever problem or issue is facing us at the moment that we can easily forget that this is a part—probably even a small part—of our larger, longer evolution as individuals. Each problem we face is just one more step in the process of learning what we need to learn in order to progress. Each problem is only a problem in that particular stage of our lives.
I recently had a man come in who I'd worked with nearly 30 years ago. At that time, his wife had died, leaving him a single father of a young girl, and his job had run into a dead end. He had been devastated, angry, and paralyzed. We talked about those things, grieved his losses, rethought his resources and solutions to his life situations, and when he felt more ready to face things, he moved on.
I saw the man again a few years later dealing with life issues and with single parenthood. He was handling things on a daily basis that in the past would have been major problems. I found him to be stronger and more mature. What constituted a problem in one phase of life wasn't one at a later stage in his life.
Like most of us, his problems were only problems for him at that time, at that point in his personal development. When he moved on in life they weren't problems, they were just part of life. Solving problems is what we need to do to move to the next level of our lives. It's a passage. But solving an immediate problem without also moving onto our next level of development is simply laying the groundwork for having more problems of the same kind.
As the old expression says "Life is like a classroom and the lessons will be repeated until they are learned!"
Looking back at him and at other people I've known and worked with for many years, it is clear that each problem in the moment is a problem of maturation, of development, of moving on. Before we have established our identity, being rejected can be devastating. But later in life, it isn't even rejection. We know who we are, and it is simply someone's opinion of what they think of us.
We must face those issues in order to move on, and we have to move on to the next developmental level to solve the problems. One without the other won't work. Evolution directed therapy is all about addressing our immediate problems and issues in a way that allows us to move ahead in our personal development. It's a combination of two approaches to therapy. Strategic therapy solves problems, often by addressing the underlying paradigm of the individual directly. That's combined with a more traditional therapeutic focus that promotes further growth and emotional development.
Whether this is done individually, or in family therapy, it begins with a thorough assessment of your needs, goals, and strengths and establishing a plan or course of actions that work for you. We then work collaboratively, with our counselors, toward that goal. At the same time, we attempt to free you from the constraints of your old ways of addressing issues, so that you can move on to more sophisticated, wiser ways of dealing with life, love, and any future problems.